Your Problem Is the Law

I was working in my office, which also happens to be my master bedroom, nursery, and a general revolving door for tiny feet and loud feelings. Our toddler was potty training, the older boys were in full gladiator mode, my wife was tied up feeding our baby, and contractors were drilling away outside.

I couldn’t string 10 minutes together.

Deadlines loomed. I was behind. Paperwork everywhere. I hoped a Zoom meeting with my accountant would at least give me one uninterrupted hour, an illusion of productivity.

Nope.

Three times during the meeting, the kids burst in, yelling and climbing all over the furniture. On the final intrusion, I lost it. Snapped. I stormed out of my chair, loudly scolded the kids, scooped them up like little suitcases, and set them outside the door, slamming it shut behind me.

It was only after collecting myself and sitting back down that I noticed the mute button on Zoom.

I hadn’t pressed it.

Now more embarrassed than angry, I sheepishly apologized to my accountant and wrapped up the meeting as quickly as possible. 

After, I just sat there. Head in my hands.

The silence that I so desperately wanted earlier was now testifying to my mistakes.

Frustrated and ashamed, I found myself caught in an all-too-familiar tug-of-war: trying to be a good business partner, a faithful provider, a present dad, a decent Christian and more.

I felt like a failure in all categories.

That’s when I heard the thought:

“Read Romans 4.”

I’d love to say I jumped right into reading after that.

The truth? I wasn’t in the mood. I rolled my eyes. And sat in my funk.

After a few minutes I begrudgingly pulled up my Bible app. Scrolled and landed on this:

“You’re not under the law! Stop acting like it!” was what I heard next. 

That’s when the lightbulb switched on in my head.