Hey, I’m Addison. You’re reading Bigger Than Me, a newsletter about mastering the skill of compassion. Sign up or scroll to the good stuff.
Original graphic by Bryan Arcebal
On a quiet Sunday afternoon, your scrolling comes to a halt. A friend’s post leaps off the screen—their pain is raw, unfiltered, and impossible to ignore.
Your heart aches, and you want to help. But as you type out a supportive message, you hesitate. What if I say the wrong thing? What if I make it worse? Perhaps you’ve reached out, only to be met with silence—or worse, rejection. It leaves you wondering, was it worth it?
Over the years, I’ve learned that truly helping others requires more than sympathy or even empathy. It calls us to a higher standard: compassion. So why is it so hard to move from good intentions to impactful action?
Why Helping Others Is Hard
Helping others isn’t just emotionally challenging—it’s messy. It requires us to confront uncomfortable truths about ourselves and our limitations.
Fear of Rejection: Maybe you’ve reached out before, only to feel unneeded or even pushed away. That sting doesn’t fade easily.
Feeling Overwhelmed: Big problems like grief or debt can feel paralyzing, especially when you’re struggling yourself.
Burnout and Frustration: If you’ve ever invested time in helping someone and felt unappreciated or ineffective, you know how draining it can be.
The truth is, helping others often feels like trying to fill a bucket with a hole in the bottom. It can seem futile. But is it really?
Understanding Sympathy, Empathy, and Compassion
To understand why helping others feels so complicated, let’s break down three key concepts: sympathy, empathy, and compassion.
Sympathy Says: "I see your pain," but it stops there—at the surface. It doesn’t dig in to help.
Empathy Understands: It says "I’ve been here before, and I know how this feels." Empathy connects us on a deeper level, but it doesn’t solve the problem.
Compassion Acts: Compassion says, "I see you down there; I’ll go grab my ladder!" It’s love with work gloves on.
The Barriers to Compassion
If compassion is so transformative, why don’t we move in it more often? Barriers—both internal and external—get in the way.
Internal Barriers:
Fear of Failure: What if I make things worse?
Lack of Confidence: I’m not qualified to help.
Emotional Exhaustion: I don’t have anything left to give.
External Barriers:
Complex Problems: Issues like poverty, addiction, or grief can feel insurmountable.
Societal Attitudes: A culture that glorifies individualism can make compassion seem like a weakness.
These barriers are real, but they’re not impossible to overcome.
Moving in Compassion: Practical Steps
How do we move past these barriers and take meaningful action?
Pause to Assess: Start by asking, “What’s one simple way I can help right now?” Compassion begins with clarity.
Start Small: Big problems don’t always need big solutions. A kind word, a meal, or a listening ear can be enough to make a difference.
Partner with Others: Compassion doesn’t mean doing everything alone. Sometimes, the best gift you can give isn’t a direct solution, but connecting them to resources or support.
Why Compassion Matters
Illustration by Bryan Arcebal
Compassion isn’t just about the person we’re helping—it transforms us too. It shifts our focus, deepens relationships, and aligns us with God’s heart.
Jesus didn’t just see the sick or the hungry; He stepped in with healing hands and a servant’s heart. His compassion wasn’t a thought or a feeling—it was a mission. When we act in compassion, we reflect His love.
Helping others may never feel easy. But this week, what if you leaned in with compassion? Show up, trust God, and let Him handle the rest.
“Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due when it is in your power to act.”
Until next time,
Addison
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